Sheboygan’s Full Moons Now Sponsored by Local Pizzeria; Lunar Ads Await Approval
SHEBOYGAN, WI – In a moonlit twist that has astronomers reeling and nocturnal creatures howling in disbelief, Sheboygan’s famed full moons have secured a corporate sponsor – Luigi’s Pizzeria. Yes, you read that correctly. The once serene and mystical lunar landscapes will soon be aglow with ads for 50% off pepperoni pies, if the bold proposal gets the green light.
Luigi “The Pizza King” Marinara, owner of the cherished local pizzeria, announced the partnership at a press conference under the last unsponsored full moon we might ever witness. “Our pizzas are out of this world, so why shouldn’t our ads be the same?” mused Marinara, as the city braced for the dawn of a new lunar era.
Local werewolves, having a close and personal relationship with the full moon, are in a fangtastic furor. Larry Lupin, leader of the Sheboygan Shaggy Pack and recent entrepreneur, expressed his lunar loyalty. “The moon is not a billboard,” he growled, fur ruffling in the moonlit night. “It’s a symbol of our transformation, our heritage. You can’t slap a pizza ad on millennia of werewolf culture!”
Local witch Winifred Warts-n-All chimed in, raising concerns that lunar ads could interfere with moonlit incantations. “What’s next?” she lamented. “Sponsorship stickers on my broomstick?”
However, it’s not all doom and gloom (or perhaps, ‘doom and boom’ of lunar ads illuminating the night). The city’s teenagers, ever the opportunists, are looking forward to more illuminated evenings. “Think about the selfie potential,” gushed one teen, her eyes alight with the glow of potential Instagram likes.
The decision now lies with the Sheboygan City Council, who must weigh the potential economic windfall against the possible decline in mystical moonlit escapades and the wrath of the werewolf population. A public hearing is scheduled for next full moon, with residents invited to howl their opinions, either in person or via owl post.
As the city that never sleeps (thanks to previous paranormal escapades) awaits the verdict, one can’t help but wonder if the moon, Earth’s loyal satellite that has watched over countless millennia of history, is prepared for its new role as billboard for Sheboygan’s finest pizza.
In related news, NASA has requested a slice of the advertising pie, inquiring if the dark side of the moon is also up for grabs. Stay tuned for developments, and remember, in Sheboygan, even the sky isn’t the limit when it comes to advertising.