Local Witch Accused of Brewing Potions Without a License; Cauldron Confiscated

SHEBOYGAN, WI – In a city where the Mayor is a squirrel and vampires run for public office, it seemed nothing could ruffle the unflappable citizens of Sheboygan. That was until local witch, Winifred Warts-n-All, found herself in hot water, accused of brewing potions without a proper license. In a dawn raid just this week, city officials confiscated her cauldron in a move that has brewed up a storm of controversy.

Winifred, known to locals for her enchanting garden and the inexplicable glow of her abode at full moon, is a beloved figure. Her potions, famed for their ability to cure everything from baldness to bad luck, are a staple in many a Sheboygan household.

But the law, as city officials sternly reminded citizens, is the law. “We cannot have unlicensed potion brewing in Sheboygan,” declared Councilman Igor Strictpants, apparently unmoved by the fact he was addressing a crowd whilst a squirrel Mayor looked on.

Winifred, however, is not one to be trifled with. From her enchanted abode (currently glowing an indignant shade of green), she’s vowed to fight the charges. “They can take my cauldron, but they’ll never take my freedom to brew,” she cackled ominously, as thunder roared overhead – though meteorologists insist it was a coincidence.

Sheboygan’s legal community is abuzz, with many speculating whether potion-brewing falls under the jurisdiction of the FDA, the DEA, or the Magical Congress of the United States of America. Mayor Nutty McNutface, always one for diplomatic solutions, suggested a potion-brewing license be introduced to settle the matter.

In the interim, Winifred’s loyal customers are rallying, with reports of a “Brew Free or Die” march to be held at midnight – though participants are advised to bring their own broomsticks.

As the battle brews, one thing is certain – Sheboygan remains the only city where a confiscated cauldron can overshadow political campaigns and a new rainbow color discovery. And in the midst of this bubbling controversy, residents can’t help but wonder – if a witch can’t brew potions in Sheboygan, is anywhere truly safe?