SHEBOYGAN, WI – In an unprecedented turn of events that has residents of Sheboygan checking their calendars to ensure it’s not April 1st, local vampire, Count Von Nibble, has announced his candidacy for City Council. The nocturnal nominee promises a ‘stake’ in the community’s future, vowing to bring a fresh, albeit slightly eerie, perspective to city governance.

Campaigning under the slogan “A Bite of Progress,” Count Von Nibble has outlined a visionary platform that includes night-time farmers markets, dimly lit romantic alleyways, and a city-wide ban on garlic bread. “It’s time for a change,” declared the Count, his voice echoing with the ominous yet charismatic tone that has won over many a Sheboygan night owl.

The announcement has sparked heated debate amongst residents. Some commend Count Von Nibble’s commitment to diversifying the city’s economy (his proposal for a “Night-Time Economy” is expected to double the city’s GDP), while others are concerned about his insatiable appetite for…progress.

“I just think it’s progressive to have a vampire in the council,” says Goth enthusiast and local barista, Bella Darkly. “Plus, we’ve always wondered what’s going on in that spooky mansion on the hill.”

Count Von Nibble’s policies include mandatory black curtains in all public buildings, tax breaks for businesses that operate exclusively at night, and a city-wide ban on wooden stakes. The Count is also an avid supporter of renewable energy, pledging to power the entire city with the inexhaustible energy source known as “eternal darkness.”

Mayor Nutty McNutface has welcomed the competition, declaring that democracy is alive and well in Sheboygan, though the same can’t be said for all its candidates. Local garlic farmers are organizing a protest, but the Count remains undeterred.

“I’ve been a resident of this great city for over 400 years,” asserts Count Von Nibble, who looks not a day over 30. “It’s high time I took a bite out of politics.”

The election, slated for late this year, will no doubt be a nail-biter. One thing is certain – in Sheboygan, politics is anything but lifeless.