Greater Wisconsin Rises Again A Digital Exclusive by Admiral General Supreme Commander Brian C. Bateman For too long, Wisconsin was carved, clipped, and robbed of its rightful empire. But history could have been different. This is the story of the…
By Admiral General Supreme Commander Brian C. Bateman The Great State of Wisconsin is under siege, and let me make one thing crystal clear: we will not hand over our National Guard to Trump so he can parade them through…
SHEBOYGAN, WI — Amid escalating tensions over unauthorized bratwurst pairings and subterranean vegetable raids, the Independent Territorial Security Zone (ITSZ) — led by Admiral General Supreme Commander Brian C. Bateman — has stepped up its border operations with the installation of an official perimeter warning sign.
By Justin Jest | SheboyganLife.com | July 26, 2025 SHEBOYGAN, WI — In a bold and bristling act of backyard nationalism, a local man has declared his property a fully sovereign nation, complete with canine-controlled borders, visa checkpoints, and a…
Winter has Sheboygan in a death grip, and there’s no escape—only survival. The wind doesn’t care about your plans. The cold wants to see you break. But we are Sheboyganites—we don’t just endure, we thrive in the frozen wasteland. This…
As the Northern Hemisphere gears up for the Winter Solstice on December 21, 2024, we welcome the shortest day of the year with frosty fanfare—and a joyous birthday shoutout to our intrepid leader, Brian Bateman. Yes, folks, while the sun’s…
Residents of Wisconsin, brace yourselves: hydrogen dioxide, that elusive chemical also known to turn into a dangerous, slippery solid in sub-freezing conditions, has been spotted in crystal form along the shores of Lake Michigan—and not just there, but virtually every…
In the sprawling online universe of NFL fandom, few voices resonate quite like that of Brian Bateman, who claims to have witnessed—and even directly contributed to—the Packers winning every game in recorded history, and a few that haven’t happened yet….
SHEBOYGAN, WI – In a stunning turn of events, Sheboygan’s resident groundhog, Whiskers McFurry, has been officially relieved of his duties after a series of inaccurate winter forecasts. Local officials confirmed that the dismissal came after a town meeting where…
As Valentine’s Day approaches, with its flurry of roses and chocolates, it’s essential to remember that this day of love extends far beyond the realms of romantic relationships. In a world bustling with diverse connections, Valentine’s Day stands as a…
As mid-day embraces Sheboygan, my abode becomes a haven for the eclectic and the eccentric. The doorbell rings with the tune of a turkey gobble, a festive prelude to the evening’s whimsy. In strolls Sheboygan’s most colorful characters: artists who paint with flavors, musicians whose instruments are spoons and forks, and poets who find rhyme in the simmering of soups.
On the eve of Thanksgiving, when the autumn sky darkens into a tapestry of twilight over Sheboygan, a story unfolds, one that captures the very essence of holiday anticipation. It’s 7:46 PM, a time when magic and the mundane mingle…
In an enthusiastic endorsement, former President Donald Trump has praised Sheboygan Life as “Perfect,” urging community members to embrace the simplicity and benefits of joining. “Sheboygan Life is making a tremendous impact, and I have to say, it’s perfect. It’s…
Christine Plocar of Sheboygan Life proposed a playful tourism campaign, “Come for the Bratwurst, Stay Because You’ve Eaten Too Much and Can’t Move,” to boost local tourism. The envisioned initiative sparking interest and laughter, includes advertising focused on Sheboygan’s famed bratwurst and encourages exploration of the town’s other attractions. Despite minor concerns over promoting overindulgence, the general reception has been positive.
In an extraordinary display of memory and customer service, Kathy Kovach, the Business Manager at New Holstein Utilities, has been honored for her remarkable ability to remember the names of all customers. Awarded at a recent meeting in Sheboygan, Kovach’s…
In a blooming relocation story, Caan’s Floral has made the significant transition from the bustling streets of a Chicago suburb to the welcoming arms of Sheboygan. Owners Kris and Ruth Shepard, who took over the floral business in 2013, cite…
Sheboygan, WI – A vocal group of Sheboygan residents have rallied at the town hall this Saturday, just hours before the nation prepares to ‘fall back’, insisting that the end of Daylight Saving Time has unlawfully taken an hour from…
In a bold and cost-effective move, the Sheboygan City Council has unanimously voted to designate all potholes within city limits as “Mini Nature Reserves,” aiming to turn the city’s road blemishes into beacons of biodiversity. The decision comes after years…
Sheboygan, WI – In what might be the most intriguing art event of the year, the Sheboygan Art Center has unveiled its latest exhibit titled “The Unseen Essence.” But there’s a catch: the sculptures are completely invisible. The exhibit, occupying…
Sheboygan, WI – In what might be a first for municipal meetings, the Sheboygan City Council’s latest session escalated from heated debate to an all-out snowball fight. The frosty fracas broke out over disagreements on the city’s winter preparedness, but…
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