City Council Adopts ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ for Decision Making; Efficiency at an All-Time High!


SHEBOYGAN, WI – In a legislative shakeup that’s reverberating through the hallowed halls of bureaucracy, Sheboygan’s City Council announced a radical new approach to governance. The time-tested method of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” has been adopted to slice through red tape, crush inefficiency, and cover a backlog of unresolved issues.

This unprecedented strategy emerged after a 14-hour-long council meeting, where traditional decision-making proved as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Mayor Ryan Sorenson threw his hands up (not for the first time) and proposed the ingenious solution, leading to instant results.

“We resolved more in five minutes of ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ than in five months of traditional deliberations,” Mayor Sorenson declared, his fingers still poised in the triumphant scissor formation that settled the city’s budget impasse.

City Council meetings now resemble a mix of a sporting event and a legislative session. The crowd holds its breath as council members lock eyes, their hands jutting in rhythmic harmony to decide the fate of city ordinances, public projects, and even parking tickets.

The efficiency is undeniable. “It’s participatory democracy at its finest,” according to Councilwoman Roxanne Stone, famed for her unyielding ‘rock’ strategy. “With every throw, we’re not just making decisions – we’re making history.”

Residents are intrigued, if slightly bemused. Some are calling for ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ tournaments to train the next generation of city leaders. Others are just happy to see the council finally cutting through the decision-making quagmire with the precision of a well-aimed pair of scissors.

As Sheboygan stands on the cutting edge of legislative innovation, the world watches, wonders, and waits. Will ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ emerge as the decision-making tool of the future, or is this just a momentary paper cover over the rocky landscape of political gridlock?

Have your say, dear readers – is it time to trade the ballot box for the throwdown square? Share your thoughts, strategies, and whether you’re team rock, paper, or scissors in the pulse-pounding political arena of Sheboygan!

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